Thursday, March 26, 2009

It's been a minute

since I posted last.
Sorry about that.
But I am currently in the process of dying.

School is overwhelming.
Work is overwhelming.
Life is overwhelming.
I was trying to wade it out for a while,
but now I'm just sort of submerged in it all.

However, I may be starting a new project with a photo friend
So that is exciting.
I'm really looking forward to it, so I hope it works out.

Also, I'll be starting research for my professor soon, which is really cool.
And he's letting me double up the work as a final project for him.
So that is fantastic.

And the kid I tutor totally checked out a couple of workbooks from the literacy center's library, and is studying at home on his own.
Not that I had anything to do with it, but it is pretty freaking awesome, and it made me reaaaal happy today to hear that.

New words soon. I promise.
I've been writing a teensy tiny bit, and hopefully I'll get that all pounded out and edited and up here within the next few days.

Until then, I've decided to just stop sleeping? 
Maybe then I'll have time for everything I need to get accomplished?
Yes, yes.
Sounds like a plan.

So, strong coffee, STAT! 
Annnnnd back to it...

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


Particularly love the Obama reference.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Being all scholarly, and shit.

So today, my modern American poetry prof 


Future doctoral dream come true.

He also said that after this project, he'd be willing to write one of my doctoral recommendation letters. 
And he flattered me with all sorts of scholarly compliments, about my observant remarks in class, and how I exhaustively and intricately analyze the poems we read, and how I was the first person he wanted to offer the position to.

I haven't officially accepted yet.
I'm still weighing my options.
(yeah, right.)

Too full

And my drawers are too full
of loose laundry.
Shirts I never wear,
but can't bear to part with.
Layers of others' outerwear,
from men I haven't seen in years.

But still, I fold them.

Just like I'll fold you in with them,
when this covering becomes too worn,
and the holes no longer suit the standards 
of respectability,
or my taste.

But occasionally,
when it's cold out,
I'll slip you over my sleep skin.
And spend the night wrapped warm
in what's left of us.


This winter has been plenty cold,
and long enough --
the daffodils felt it when they began to bloom
last month.

And along the path I walk to work,
green grass forcing its way 
through the cracks in the bricks 
gives me hope.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Walden's Pond my ass.

So I am back from the mountains.
We camped two nights, and hiked a little bit.
It was pretty, peaceful, serene, blahblahblah.

And I am cranky as all get out.

Whatever happened to nature soothing the weary soul, inspiring the tired mind, and nurturing creativity?
Those transcendentalists were all wrong.
My brain and abilities are just as muddled as they were before I left.

But hey, I made it down the Blue Ridge Parkway without even a HINT of motion sickness, and I even managed to finish a book on the drive home!

So the score stands:

Stupid frail, fragile body: 2,342,438,656,273,i42,134,102,986,578,452aaflasjfhadg;A!

But look! Look! I'm catching up!!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

A slump.

I'm in one.

: /

Someone send me a writing prompt.

I need some motifuckingvation.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

These past few days...

Have been amazing.
It's good to be back with great friends, taking my head out of my recent literary world, and getting back out into the real one.
Plus, Tabs and I will be getting a third roommate soon, so that should spice things up around 604 Frank. 
Annnnd the financial aspect of that situation is pretty promising.
Intarwebs, soon! 

Also, I'm getting my lazy ass back into shape.
Soccer last night, running this morning, eating less shit.
Hopefully, setting a good precedence.
We'll see.

But I do have a HUGE bruise on my upper thigh.
Because I thought sliding down a bannister with a huge, square finial at the end of it would be a great idea.
Granted, it WAS fun.
But boy does my leg look gross. 
I'll spare you an image.

But I won't spare you the inside of the ribcage of a giant ground sloth fossil.

I also got paid to watch Planet Earth: Shallow Seas, and go on a two-hour scavenger hunt around downtown Raleigh.
God, what a great job.
So what if sometimes sheer boredom makes me want to jump head-first off the balcony of the Nature Art Gallery? The perks make it worthwhile, most days. :)

And tonight is the training session for the Wake County Literacy Council Juvenile program!
I couldn't even begin to put into words how much I'm looking forward to that. Soon, I'll be helping teach someone how to read. Talk about a gift!

Not that it won't be difficult at times.
These are kids between 10 and 16 who have been in the court system for a while now, most of which are labeled juvenile delinquents and have been long-term suspended. We are offering them tutoring as a supplement to the insufficient, four hours a week of tutoring they receive from the Wake County school system. And they are expected to be at an "appropriate level?" Yeah, right.

So, hopefully, I'll be able to help my tutee. I haven't met him/her yet, and I'm not sure if he/she will even be interested in learning.
But I'm incredibly excited about trying. 
And maybe making even a little bit of a difference, if I can.
And I'll be honest, I have pretty high hopes for that.

But all right.
Back to my reading.
Because I'm pretty behind in that aspect.

Getting all in the way of my life, and shit.

Monday, February 16, 2009


So I am pwning life right now.
Not that I'm bragging, because that always precedes a fall (grammaw taught me proper, yo.)

But I spent the whole day stressing out about this project I had to do for my rhet comp class, and post before hand, because it was confusing as hell, and I didn't think I was doing it right, and when the prof came in, he made a point of telling me before class that it was funny, and that he loved it!!! 
And when we were discussing the projects in class, he showed my video, and people laughed!! 

That was refreshing.
Here is the video, for your viewing enjoyment.
It is awful, and as such, is funny.
If you want to know why the heck I even created this thing in the first place, holler at me. I don't want to bore everyone else (all three of you who read this) on here.

He announced "a's" for all at the end of class, so, SCORE.

I made an "a" on my powerpoint presentation about Gertrude Stein for my poetry class.
And one of the members of the graduate student association wants me to submit it to n academic conference.

I can hardly contain myself right now.

If you see someone skipping around down Hillsborough Street here in a minute, it's me, leaving Tompkins, in a state of total and utter bliss.


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Sunday, February 1, 2009


It's time to hide in my books for a while.
I'll be back when things are easier.

Re: re: faces

Hell yeah I did that shit mirror image.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Valuable use of my time?

I think so.

What a happy sea creature. As Spence put it, " i think he's got downs."
Thanks, photobooth.

Oh, and can't forget the epic lunar ninja battle: 



I have discovered a spy in my headquarters.
He was identified as a member of the enemy camp last night, and as such is certainly not welcome here.
I'm sure he got the message.
And now I hope his leader does...

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

My favorite seat in Caldwell...

looks out over this sad, sad image: 

Yes, that is an incredibly dead, decayed bird. 
I don't know what this says about me, but I'm pretty sure it's fitting...

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Oh, google, you.

I love when you correct me.
In an incredibly wrong, hilarious way.

Updike, RIP.

This is a sad, sad day.
We studied him in every, single creative writing workshop I ever took, ever. 
And I love him.
Thanks, Updike.
You'll be taught for many years to come. I am sure of it.
And many more will come to love you, just as I do. <3

Sunday, January 25, 2009


Talk about watching where you are going...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Divine providence!

So, instead of doing my homework yesterday...

However, now I am incredibly behind in my homework, and I was worrying and worrying about how this would all work out, when, upon checking my email this morning, it turns out MY POETRY PROF CANCELLED OUR CLASS!
So I don't have to do his work until NEXT MONDAY!

Which gives me so much more time for the rest of my classes -- particularly, finishing Bleak House for Vic. lit. 

And I'm off to it. :)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


What a beautiful, beautiful day.


It's snow cream time!
(And yes, that IS a can opener shaped like a toucan's head!) 

Delicious! :)

Monday, January 19, 2009


the deal is sealed.
New Bon Iver, you are mine!!
And I waited until the actual release date... ;)

Also, I am having entirely too much fun with this video chat thingy.

 Now if only I could get some work done...
Dang Bleak House.

Simply. can't. wait.

1.20.09: New Bon Iver.
Yes, please.

Schoolkids run, anyone?

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Thank you, Disney!

So, I've decided on a topic for my final creative project in Victorian Lit, and it is the same topic that I want to continue to develop throughout my graduate career.
It is the same topic that fascinated me in my high school literature classes.
It is the same topic that had me swimming in the "sea" of my bedroom as a four year old little girl (that sea being a huge, blue blanket that I crawled under).
And it's the same topic that makes me love Disney World more than any other place in the world, as convoluted and sexist and misconstrued as Disney's portrayal of that topic may be.

***Drum roll please...***

The Fairy Tale!

Now, this isn't your mother's fairy tale, folks.
These things are dark and twisted and beautiful.

Think you know Cinderella?
Try the "original" Grimm Brother's version in which the sisters mutilate themselves so they can wear that damn glass slipper.

Or how about the actual original, oral versions of the tales? The versions told by women to children and other women. The versions in which the damsel is never in distress, but is often the cunning hero, the savior of the city or the people or the home.

Those are my kinds of fairy tales!
And I think I could make a pretty nice little life of studying those women, and their legacy throughout literature.

And who isn't all about finding a scholarly reason for watching "The Little Mermaid" or "Beauty and the Beast" on repeat? ;)

Monday, January 12, 2009

Red Races

It was always such a big race.

Rachel and I would take our places, one on each side of the dividing center aisle: back of the church, bodies just beneath the last pew, young tummies to the rough, red carpet. 

Not red like the blood of Christ. 
No, no. This carpet was Wolfpack red.
Our pastor was a huge State fan.

Toward the front of the church, the persistent sound of vacuuming traveled from one side of the white and wood paneled sanctuary to the other as my grandmother served her church family -- a family that never reciprocated that love. 

But the race, that was all that mattered then.
It was a weekly occurrence.

At 7- years-old, our tiny frames were still small and lithe enough to squeeze into places my grown body misses -- the underside of coffee tables, the farthest reaches of the closet beneath the staircase,  the sweet, sheltered inside of the azalea bush in grandma's front yard -- and the ankle level view of the sanctuary suddenly became an ordered jungle of beautiful, brown wood. Hymnals became mile markers, and those church pews posed both as obstacles and protection, ensuring that our race could never be cheapened by those who needed even the slightest bit more of head room.

We'd wait for it all service long, two southern sweethearts with slow drawls and entirely too much energy, heels kicking, mother's shhshing us as we whispered behind our hands, with all of our hearts.
"I bet I win today. I've been practicing!"
"Oh yeah? Just wait til later. I'll show you!"
There's nothing quite like a little friendly competition.

And Grandma, she always understood.
In a sanctuary most children were forced to behave in, she loved to watch us run down the aisles, barefoot and laughing as we tumbled and pranced, from the altar, down the middle aisle, up the side stairs to the classrooms, and back.  
If she hadn't been in that wreck all those years back, that wreck that took her agility, I know she would have joined us.

And then the moment came.
Our legs were crooked ever so slightly, bare knees pressed to the floor, toes braced in the course carpet. Our summer attire left our limbs exposed, and later, scratched, but that was just part of the experience. Rug burn was the price to pay for this race of redemption.
Heads down, arms ahead, we'd take turns shouting out:

"Ready, set, GO!"

We would scurry then, frantic, grasping with tiny hands to pull ourselves forward, ever forward, beneath the seats of so many sinners, beneath the hymnals full of amazing grace and notes most modern singers can't reach, toward the end of the pews, the end of the jungle of order and restraint, toward their absence, the openness, the freedom.
And victory.

And really, I rarely won.
I was taller, lankier, more awkward.
I was also the heaviest of the two.
But God, did I try.

I rolled and I panted and I kicked and I pulled.
Each scrape against that red, red surface was a second gained, an advantage taken.
And regardless of how far ahead she was, I never gave it up, not til I had made it.

Rachel lives in Arizona now, on a military base with her husband and their dog.
We talk once or twice a year, but I forgot to call her on her birthday. 
She remembered mine.

And Grandma just hasn't been the same since Grandpa died.

But laying there, flush-faced children panting into the carpet, rolling onto our backs and staring at the simple white ceiling of the building we learned to love, to need, and eventually, to leave, nothing mattered.
Because we had a winner.

And it wasn't me --
but I'd never let it lie.

Saturday, January 10, 2009


So, Slumdog Millionaire was AMAZINGAMAZINGAMAZING.
Go see it tonight.
It was all I could do not to dance in the aisles.
Thank you, MIA-heavy soundtrack.

The character progression was well done overall, aside from a few inconsistencies and unneccesary emphasis on the part of one person in particular. However, the strength of the other personalities made up for it, so I forgive the movie for Salim.
I loathed the game show host, but then, I'm pretty sure he was written that way intentionally.
However, I did REALLY enjoy the way he pronounced millionaire.
I may have to start doing it myself.
Since I say the word millionaire so often...

I also loved the pseudo-frame story format told in a serious of interwoven, non-linear flashbacks and flash forwards. Alternative story telling is always a golden gamble in my book, and this film proves how powerful it can be when done right.
I mean, I teared up a few times.
(God I'm such a pansy.)

And while the ending was a little cheesy for my taste, it is a romance, after all. So what can you do?
And the AMAZING dance routine scene at the end of the film more than compensated for the few seat squirming, soda slurping, anything but allowing myself to be totally immersed moments I had to endure during the mushy mire preceding it.

The children dancing was totally totally the best part.

It was also nice seeing a lot of old, familiar,(fairly) fun faces. JKJK.
You guys are more than fairly fun.
I would say incredibly even.
And who doesn't love a 1 a.m. run to Cook-Out?!

That certainly needs to happen more often.

But crikes.
I just wasted my whole lunch break blogging.
Ayayay, intarwebs.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Write? Right.

I've been told that I should write...

write something.

Write anything.

Write it out,

write it right.



Right something.

Right everything,


Everything, write.

Right something.


I am posting this post...


This is beautiful.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Day one

of Grad School.

One class down (successfully) so far.
Two more to go today, one more class tomorrow.

And so far, so good.

I'm liking this higher education thing. :)