Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tomorrow is the third anniversary of my (failed) engagment.
So, one more year down, one more year behind us.
Nothing but more years to remind us.
Funny how that works.
This week is always hard to get through.
Like the holidays aren't hard enough.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
But I'll be back soon.
I just need to figure out some way to heat my drafty, FREEZING COLD apartment, and figure out how to make ends meet this month.
But I'll probably just do a lot of reading and decorating instead.
I'm a mess.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
From Insomnia Cantatas
by Elisavietta Ritchie
"Simply: I did not write
no, many days when barren pages
heap like futile clouds or arctic snows,
and wasted brilliance flows—
snowflakes melting into rain—and I must hide my rage
as unused hours swirl down the drain, away
Such nights I wake at four
or barely sleep at all."
But OHSOSOON I will be back in Raleigh, and I am so incredibly ecstatic about it!!!
Who cares if I have to have my entire apartment packed in two days?
I got this.
And on that note, I'm going to get back to it.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
OBAMA IS ROBIN HOOD.
So does that make McCain the Sheriff of Nottingham, or Prince John?
Because the mental image of McCain sucking his thumb and crying for his mommy while Palin slithers pathetically on the ground trying to cheer him up (Disney classic, come on people) is just too good.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Brian: i like all the "i'm moving to europe" messages
Brian: my mind is completely boggled
Just to get away, to think.
Surprisingly, it was beautiful.
I say surprisingly because it's one of the most notorious places in Greenville for drug busts and rapes and God knows what else.
And yes, I was there alone.
God, I'm such a bad ass.
But today, in that moment, it was beautiful. There is no questioning that.
The leaves reflecting in the water set it on fire, and the wind was rippling the surface just enough to force a steady flow, as though a huge, invisible hand was there, just lazily dipping it's fingers across the water's cool surface.
I love watching the current, I always have.
Today, I imagined where I would be if I just followed it, imagined where it would take me.
I would love to be anywhere but here.
I also love deciding what hides just beneath the surface --
I mean, this is Greenville.
And water is a fantastic silencer for all evils.
I guess that's what I was hoping for when I went down there today. I was hoping that the water could in some way silence all these terrible feelings inside of me.
Of course, it didn't work.
Besides, someone had thrown a dead deer carcass into the woods.
And all I really wanted to do was cry.
Because I'm that person who cries for roadkill.
Empathy is such a bitch.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
that clench into tiny fists
inside my belly,
flailing at the insides
that confine them.
I'll hold those hands soon
and gaze in awe
at you, little creature
But oh how I wish
you'd stop struggling,
just for tonight.