A couple "classics"

Parting is bittersweet, but this makes bitter obsolete.
Spring 05ish

So simple in all its complexity,
and I'm dreaming in shades of green.
One is never enough,
let's do it in sets of three --
all eyes on us.

Four bags and a blanket
and our arms are loaded down
But I'm struggling with words,
not luggage.

And each visible gasp
for just the right ... everything
acts as a formidable barrier,

between all the things I'm thinking,
but would never dare to say,
and all the things you're seeing,
and staring back at me.

And jaded thoughts,
born of those same green eyes,
accompany a patience I've never portrayed.

A flutter of hope --
I'm so nervous, strange.
Then there's that smile.
And we part ways.

It isn't home when you're alone
4.23.07

I came back to an empty apartment tonight
and I've never needed you more...
but what's the point.
if I'm not afraid, you are.

On the bed, your t-shirt,
crumpled where you tossed it this morning
as we rushed to get ready for church;
we slept in way too late again.

The sheets are still piled at the foot of the bed
where you kicked them off
in your fevered sleep,
waking every few hours to cough into the sink.

Coughing as I held your hair back, out of your eyes,
while you threw up into the toilet last night.
I knew that meal was bad
before I even served it.

And on my night stand rests your glass of water,
beside a bottle of pills and the wrappers of Riccola.
The alarm clock I rarely use when you stay over is silent --
and it reminds me of our recent phone calls.

My pillow is still stuffed behind the head of the bed frame,
but it did nothing to stifle the sound of me screaming your name
all those nights that we sinned ourselves
into one another's hearts, one another's movements.

And there are no photos of you here.
But on my desk, a trinket box you gave me when I moved in --
You will always have my heart.
But not your body, or your trust. Not your future.

How would you even begin to describe us?
Simply, a mess.
But it's never so simple as that,
as your friends can attest.

Although now, I think you could only call us over.