Even the fall foliage has a hard time making this place worthwhile.

So I went down to the river by my apartment for the first time just a few minutes ago.
Just to get away, to think.
To escape.

Surprisingly, it was beautiful.
I say surprisingly because it's one of the most notorious places in Greenville for drug busts and rapes and God knows what else.
And yes, I was there alone.
God, I'm such a bad ass.

But today, in that moment, it was beautiful. There is no questioning that.
The leaves reflecting in the water set it on fire, and the wind was rippling the surface just enough to force a steady flow, as though a huge, invisible hand was there, just lazily dipping it's fingers across the water's cool surface.

I love watching the current, I always have.
Today, I imagined where I would be if I just followed it, imagined where it would take me.
I would love to be anywhere but here.

I also love deciding what hides just beneath the surface --
engagement rings,
car parts,
drugs,
bodies.
I mean, this is Greenville.
And water is a fantastic silencer for all evils.

I guess that's what I was hoping for when I went down there today. I was hoping that the water could in some way silence all these terrible feelings inside of me.
Of course, it didn't work.
Haha.

Besides, someone had thrown a dead deer carcass into the woods.
And all I really wanted to do was cry.
Because I'm that person who cries for roadkill.

Empathy is such a bitch.